Patpong - Bangkok

Interesting place. Vendors selling immitation wacthes, bags, belts on one side. Bars and pubs selling sex on the other side, ranging from just wacthing all the way to the actual sex "service". Women are commodity, merchandise, tools to earn some cash. Makes me wonder what is it that drove all these men to go for these kind of things.

I do realise one thing though. I am suppose to be here right at this moment. These are all the things that I'm suppose to find out. Things that I'm suppose to experience so some reason.

Such a contradictive place. High culture combine with lust for sex related activities.
Defenetly not a good place children.

Cross Road

I have reach another " huge cross road" in my life.

Have any of you ever reach a state where there are many options laid in front of your eyes. Where everything are possible and doable, yet you can't decide which one to take. You just can't decide because there's just simply to many options and all seem good.

I am in that position now. I just resigned from my job. Don't get me wrong, I have no regret what so ever, I had a lousy job under a lousy boss. So this is probably the smartest thing I have ever done. However, this creates a problem! What is the next step to do.

So many options to do so many things. This is the time to decide to follow my calling, my vocation. Yes, that's all good and true but there's one small twitch.... WHAT IS MY VOCATION?

The million dollar question: What is it that I want to do?

With so many people support me unconditionally, I am even more confused.

I can't believe my own thinking at the moment. I just can't trust it. It changes all the time. It's easy excited over an idea, then it will die out in few days. Pathetic? Yes!

I am self pitying? NO! I am not desparate, I am not depressed. I am simple do not know what is the next step to do.

I know that I have a lot of energy. I know that I have the preseverance and the endurance once I decide to do something. So only one problem.. again.. What to do?

How to solve this?I have been thinking and thinking and thinking... but just can't decide!